The teens came home from their first days of school with positive reviews. They liked the kids, the school was okay, teachers are no worse than anywhere else, and even the food was good!
The only complaint is that the AIMS tests (AZ's standardized testing) will be next week and the girls are not familiar with a LOT of the material that will be covered. They are doing reviews in class this week, but Bee and Bella (especially Bella) say they are not familiar with about half of the subject matter. In Bella's words: "I haven't even heard of half of this stuff!" She is pretty stressed. Unfortunately this is a typical side effect of foster care. These girls have been in care four times over the past three years...in 6 different homes. That is a lot of shuffling. But it isn't unusual. Especially not for older kids/teens. When homes are shuffled so are schools, usually in the middle of the school year, and the results are huge gaping holes in these kids' education that can create stress and really damage self-esteem. Smart kids start to feel dumb, and kids with learning disabilities?? They start to feel like they can never catch up, so why even try? I can't even imagine dealing with these kind of issues as a kid! Fortunately, my girls have very positive attitudes about life and are trying their best to jump into their school work. They are very smart and determined so I am hoping that if we can just keep them here with us through the rest of this school year they will get caught up and do okay. Then when/if they go to a relative placement they will be on track to start the new school year with everyone else. There will still be holes though, and hopefully they will get filled in. Continuity will be the key and I pray they get enough of that to make a difference.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Monday, March 31, 2014
Back to School!
Today is the first day back to school from Spring Break. Can you hear my huge sigh of relief?? Man, it has been a crazy week! We didn't do anything super special, but we got out a bit. Definitely not a vacation week!
We went clothes shopping for Sunshine, Bee, and Bella...this time in a neighboring town with much better shopping options. That was both a fun and crazy experience! It was good family bonding time. Poor Hubby had no idea what he was getting into though. I tried to warn him, but is any man ever really prepared to go shopping with SIX girls and their mother? We had a few rough spots until he came to terms. We did very well staying within budget...he just had a hard time with, well, TIME. I thought we did amazing actually. We covered three clothing stores and the shoe store in under four hours! We found shoes for six pairs of feet in under an hour! Hubby was not impressed. In fact he was very impatient. Apparently I do not take him shopping with our children nearly enough. I have to be fair and add that he did have a good reason to worry about the time as he had to leave for work that evening. He simply failed to factor in the reality of shopping with girls. He is still learning.
We also had a birthday party for our second oldest bio daughter. It was a super fun family tea party with lots of nibbles. The older girls were amazingly helpful getting everything ready. Afterwards my three bio girls left with their paternal grandmother to spend a few days at her house. This has become a family tradition over the last few years and our girls were super excited.
With the younger girls gone the house was a lot quieter over the next few days. Little Mister (our three year old) was delighted to have so much attention! He was much better behaved than normal (methinks he may benefit from more regular one on one time with Mom) and the teens decided they rather like him. It also gave the girls and I time to get to know each other better as well. I am getting very fond of these young ladies!
Saturday we (we = myself, my sister, her two littles, Little Mister, Sunshine, and Bella) went to pick up the little girls and did some yardsale-ing along the way. The pickings were slim though and we only ended up with a few things. We totally wore out Sunshine and Bella. In fact Bella was rather perturbed with us for not heading home sooner. Turns out she was actually getting sick. Later that night she threw up and was pretty miserable. Thankfully it was a fast moving bug and although she stayed home from church Sunday morning, she had rallied by the afternoon.
This morning was the teens first day at their new schools. I took them in to make sure they got their schedules and everything was in order. Bee and Bella were simple to check in. They got their handbooks and schedules, we called my niece up to the office to show them to their classes, and off they went. Easy peasy. The high school was a bit more involved, but thankfully much simpler than expected. We spent about 45 minutes with the guidance counselor getting Sunshine's schedule worked out. We were happy to find out that all her credits are safe and she is only behind by one credit. They gave her a couple courses at the alternative academy on campus where she can work online to complete the classes at her own pace. Those courses will allow her to not only catch up on the one course she is behind in, but also allows her to make up the missing credit she needs if she applies herself. That means next year she will be right on target to graduate with her class in two years. With all the school hopping that happens in foster care that is a BIG THING.
Now I am breathing easier, knowing we are finally going to be able to settle into some kind of an actual routine. The girls will start making friends and will settle in. My kids will settle down and won't have so much emotional turmoil (change makes them very emotional). I will have a bit of quiet time to recharge. I don't dare hope for smooth sailing, but at least things shouldn't be so chaotic!
We went clothes shopping for Sunshine, Bee, and Bella...this time in a neighboring town with much better shopping options. That was both a fun and crazy experience! It was good family bonding time. Poor Hubby had no idea what he was getting into though. I tried to warn him, but is any man ever really prepared to go shopping with SIX girls and their mother? We had a few rough spots until he came to terms. We did very well staying within budget...he just had a hard time with, well, TIME. I thought we did amazing actually. We covered three clothing stores and the shoe store in under four hours! We found shoes for six pairs of feet in under an hour! Hubby was not impressed. In fact he was very impatient. Apparently I do not take him shopping with our children nearly enough. I have to be fair and add that he did have a good reason to worry about the time as he had to leave for work that evening. He simply failed to factor in the reality of shopping with girls. He is still learning.
We also had a birthday party for our second oldest bio daughter. It was a super fun family tea party with lots of nibbles. The older girls were amazingly helpful getting everything ready. Afterwards my three bio girls left with their paternal grandmother to spend a few days at her house. This has become a family tradition over the last few years and our girls were super excited.
With the younger girls gone the house was a lot quieter over the next few days. Little Mister (our three year old) was delighted to have so much attention! He was much better behaved than normal (methinks he may benefit from more regular one on one time with Mom) and the teens decided they rather like him. It also gave the girls and I time to get to know each other better as well. I am getting very fond of these young ladies!
Saturday we (we = myself, my sister, her two littles, Little Mister, Sunshine, and Bella) went to pick up the little girls and did some yardsale-ing along the way. The pickings were slim though and we only ended up with a few things. We totally wore out Sunshine and Bella. In fact Bella was rather perturbed with us for not heading home sooner. Turns out she was actually getting sick. Later that night she threw up and was pretty miserable. Thankfully it was a fast moving bug and although she stayed home from church Sunday morning, she had rallied by the afternoon.
This morning was the teens first day at their new schools. I took them in to make sure they got their schedules and everything was in order. Bee and Bella were simple to check in. They got their handbooks and schedules, we called my niece up to the office to show them to their classes, and off they went. Easy peasy. The high school was a bit more involved, but thankfully much simpler than expected. We spent about 45 minutes with the guidance counselor getting Sunshine's schedule worked out. We were happy to find out that all her credits are safe and she is only behind by one credit. They gave her a couple courses at the alternative academy on campus where she can work online to complete the classes at her own pace. Those courses will allow her to not only catch up on the one course she is behind in, but also allows her to make up the missing credit she needs if she applies herself. That means next year she will be right on target to graduate with her class in two years. With all the school hopping that happens in foster care that is a BIG THING.
Now I am breathing easier, knowing we are finally going to be able to settle into some kind of an actual routine. The girls will start making friends and will settle in. My kids will settle down and won't have so much emotional turmoil (change makes them very emotional). I will have a bit of quiet time to recharge. I don't dare hope for smooth sailing, but at least things shouldn't be so chaotic!
Friday, March 21, 2014
Shopping with the girls
After a slow and lazy morning the kids and I embarked on a shopping adventure! Shopping with three teenage girls while keeping track of a 3yr and a 5yr old and fending off the gimmees of my 9 and 10yr old...is exhausting!
To start off we had a couple errands to take care of. We stopped by the vision center to see about getting Bella's (our youngest teen) glasses fixed or replaced. Her frames are cracked above one of the lenses so we need to get them taken care of. Turns out the best option will probably be to get a new pair, but that will depend totally on if CMDP (foster care medical insurance) will cover a new pair. The other option is to possibly get new frames for the same lenses. That will be a long shot and may not work. I will have to visit with their cw about what the options are.
Next stop was the library. I have to say I LOVE how excited these girls were to get library cards and immediately find a book. They all came home with something to read. Even though our library is waaaaaay smaller than what they are used to they were happy to be there and enjoyed checking it out. My kids ran a bit a muck as we got the girls set up, and we had a few whines about just what wii game we were coming home with, but nothing too terrible.
From there we hit the only retail store in town that carries clothing in our price and style range, then visited a couple thrift stores in search of pants for Bella (She arrived with only two pair). I didn't have super high expectations of finding something that would satisfy the girls, but happily we ended up with two pair while staying well under budget! Turns out that the emergency clothing stipend is only $75! I am just grateful these girls aren't divas who need name brands! We didn't even spend half though, so I promised Bella we would spend the rest the next time we make a trip to our larger neighboring town where shopping is much more plentiful. She was happy with that, and it gives us all something to look forward to.
At that point we all needed a break so we stopped by my mom's house so the girls could visit with my nieces and my little ones could run with their cousins. That is when I got my first lesson in teen parenting. Bee (our middle teen) left to go hang out with my niece for a bit and my sister asks me "when did you tell her to be home?"...and I realize I didn't. My sister laughed at me. Then she helped me figure a reasonable time and I called my niece and had her relay the curfew. They weren't thrilled to have one, but they were accepting and made sure she was home a few minutes early. How strange it was to start watching the clock 1/2 an hour before that time and to start worrying! That strange balance between trust and fear, letting them make choices but still maintaining authority. Adding CPS to the mix makes it even weirder. I am not sure what the "rules" are for things like hanging out with friends, spending the night, unsupervised activities, etc. I want to just trust my own judgement, but I may have just broke a few without knowing while trying to let her just be a normal teenager. *sigh* I will have to have a chat with my cw before I chat with theirs so we can find the right balance.
After my mom's and before Bee showed back up, we went grocery shopping. We only had half my little ones, so it wasn't quite as crazy as it could have been, and I enjoyed spending the time with Sunshine and Bella. They are some great girls. It was a long list of groceries though and we were all exhausted by the time it was over!
An eventful and enjoyable day. Seven kids wasn't so bad today. I think maybe I can do this.
To start off we had a couple errands to take care of. We stopped by the vision center to see about getting Bella's (our youngest teen) glasses fixed or replaced. Her frames are cracked above one of the lenses so we need to get them taken care of. Turns out the best option will probably be to get a new pair, but that will depend totally on if CMDP (foster care medical insurance) will cover a new pair. The other option is to possibly get new frames for the same lenses. That will be a long shot and may not work. I will have to visit with their cw about what the options are.
Next stop was the library. I have to say I LOVE how excited these girls were to get library cards and immediately find a book. They all came home with something to read. Even though our library is waaaaaay smaller than what they are used to they were happy to be there and enjoyed checking it out. My kids ran a bit a muck as we got the girls set up, and we had a few whines about just what wii game we were coming home with, but nothing too terrible.
From there we hit the only retail store in town that carries clothing in our price and style range, then visited a couple thrift stores in search of pants for Bella (She arrived with only two pair). I didn't have super high expectations of finding something that would satisfy the girls, but happily we ended up with two pair while staying well under budget! Turns out that the emergency clothing stipend is only $75! I am just grateful these girls aren't divas who need name brands! We didn't even spend half though, so I promised Bella we would spend the rest the next time we make a trip to our larger neighboring town where shopping is much more plentiful. She was happy with that, and it gives us all something to look forward to.
At that point we all needed a break so we stopped by my mom's house so the girls could visit with my nieces and my little ones could run with their cousins. That is when I got my first lesson in teen parenting. Bee (our middle teen) left to go hang out with my niece for a bit and my sister asks me "when did you tell her to be home?"...and I realize I didn't. My sister laughed at me. Then she helped me figure a reasonable time and I called my niece and had her relay the curfew. They weren't thrilled to have one, but they were accepting and made sure she was home a few minutes early. How strange it was to start watching the clock 1/2 an hour before that time and to start worrying! That strange balance between trust and fear, letting them make choices but still maintaining authority. Adding CPS to the mix makes it even weirder. I am not sure what the "rules" are for things like hanging out with friends, spending the night, unsupervised activities, etc. I want to just trust my own judgement, but I may have just broke a few without knowing while trying to let her just be a normal teenager. *sigh* I will have to have a chat with my cw before I chat with theirs so we can find the right balance.
After my mom's and before Bee showed back up, we went grocery shopping. We only had half my little ones, so it wasn't quite as crazy as it could have been, and I enjoyed spending the time with Sunshine and Bella. They are some great girls. It was a long list of groceries though and we were all exhausted by the time it was over!
An eventful and enjoyable day. Seven kids wasn't so bad today. I think maybe I can do this.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
School Registration
We spent the better part of our afternoon getting the girls registered for school. At least we started the process. Turns out the girls have been out of school for over two weeks (thanks group home) and that is going to cause some major issues for Sunshine, our high schooler. She may lose all her credits from this whole semester. We are hoping the school counselor will be able to help her keep at least some. The two younger girls were easier to enroll and we even got a tour of the school. They were blown away by how small it is. What can I say, we are Small Town USA. Ha ha ha! Their reactions were priceless though. Our school actually still uses CHALK BOARDS for heavens sake! They had never seen one! lol They were funny about it though and still seemed excited to start classes.
I have never seen such "make the best of it" attitudes in teenagers before! I am more and more impressed by these girls. I hope things keep going in such a positive direction (I admit there is a deep down part of me that lives in fear of the stereotypical teen rebellion meltdown) and the girls start to feel at home. They spend a lot of time together in their room with the tv, but I expected that and have actually been surprised at how often one or the other will come out and spend some time with us, and how willing they are to be part of family activities. We are slowly getting to know each other. They have also been very open to meeting other members of our extended family and getting to know and hanging out with our teen relatives.
Our two respite kiddos went home today as well. Boy how that has brought a release of tension! They were good kids, but they were a handful. I am happy to be down to seven! I never thought that sentence would come out of my mouth! ha ha ha!
I have never seen such "make the best of it" attitudes in teenagers before! I am more and more impressed by these girls. I hope things keep going in such a positive direction (I admit there is a deep down part of me that lives in fear of the stereotypical teen rebellion meltdown) and the girls start to feel at home. They spend a lot of time together in their room with the tv, but I expected that and have actually been surprised at how often one or the other will come out and spend some time with us, and how willing they are to be part of family activities. We are slowly getting to know each other. They have also been very open to meeting other members of our extended family and getting to know and hanging out with our teen relatives.
Our two respite kiddos went home today as well. Boy how that has brought a release of tension! They were good kids, but they were a handful. I am happy to be down to seven! I never thought that sentence would come out of my mouth! ha ha ha!
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Welcome to Crazy Town
The teenagers have landed! The girls arrived (not on time) yesterday afternoon. They got here about 3pm, and things have been a crazy hubub ever since. They are super sweet girls and have been wonderful so far! They have been/are going through quite a lot, but their attitudes are remarkable. They are positive and friendly and seem intent on making things work for the best. Having three more bodies in the house has made everything a lot crazier. Mealtimes have been intense. I think things will calm down when our two respite kids go home tomorrow.
It is amazing how much two little ones can stir things up! I thought having another boy for our son to play with would make things easier...I did not count on the jealousy and competition! Oh my! Big Sis has been a bit of sassy handful up until today. We did a small birthday celebration for her last night and since then she has been a lot less defiant and much more cooperative.
Big changes. Hopefully it won't take long to settle into routines.
It is amazing how much two little ones can stir things up! I thought having another boy for our son to play with would make things easier...I did not count on the jealousy and competition! Oh my! Big Sis has been a bit of sassy handful up until today. We did a small birthday celebration for her last night and since then she has been a lot less defiant and much more cooperative.
Big changes. Hopefully it won't take long to settle into routines.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Let's try this again...
The case manager for the three teen girls called yesterday as expected, and since we hadn't received another placement we said yes to the placement (again). This time we know an exact time they are supposed to arrive (1pm) and who is bringing them (the first cw we spoke to), so I believe there is a far greater likely hood they will actually arrive. Over the weekend they experienced a great personal and tragic loss, so this is going to be even harder going in than we anticipated, which kind of scares the pants off me. It reinforces their need to be here though. They need to be together, and we are the only home where that is an option right now, so I have to put personal feelings and fears aside for now. There is now also a much greater possibility that if everything goes well this will turn out to be a long term placement. Not sure how I feel about that yet. Hubby thinks it is great and is planning for the long haul already. I think he may be a bit relieved to not be back on diaper duty! hahaha! We just got our youngest potty-trained, and I don't think he is ready to be thrown back into diaper land! I think I would rather be in diaper land than teenager land though. I know diaper land...teenager land is unknown and scary! My sisters with teens are laughing their butts off at me and alternately telling me "you can do this" and sharing horror stories that make me want to run and hide. Sisters are the best. hahaha!
We have a few last minute details to (re)iron out before the girls arrive. We need to run and get a few more new pillows because we used a couple for the respite kids (no kid should have to sleep on someone else's who-knows-what-is-on-it pillow!), and we need to move the little ones (respite) into another room. We put them in the spare room we had prepared for the older girls because after all the shenanigans we really thought we wouldn't end up getting the placement after all. So, I need to clean up our youngest child's room and set it up for a couple extras for the next two days.
It's going to be a crazy day followed by more crazy for the next few days for sure!
We have a few last minute details to (re)iron out before the girls arrive. We need to run and get a few more new pillows because we used a couple for the respite kids (no kid should have to sleep on someone else's who-knows-what-is-on-it pillow!), and we need to move the little ones (respite) into another room. We put them in the spare room we had prepared for the older girls because after all the shenanigans we really thought we wouldn't end up getting the placement after all. So, I need to clean up our youngest child's room and set it up for a couple extras for the next two days.
It's going to be a crazy day followed by more crazy for the next few days for sure!
Saturday, March 15, 2014
???
The girls never showed up. There was apparently a communication gap between their first and second caseworkers. So, we have no idea what is actually going to happen with them. The soonest we will here is Monday. So, maybe they will come, maybe they will not. In the meantime our cw passed on a placement for us thinking we were getting these girls. *sigh* So, we don't know what is going to happen in the next few days. We are getting respite kids this afternoon though, so that will keep us busy this week!
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