Home from Vacation, and back to Real Life!

Yesterday was our first full day home from vacation. It was almost back to normal. Hubby was sweet enough to get our two Summer schoolers where they needed to be on his way to take the four-wheelers we borrowed back to his parents home.

  

*I should add here that a few days after school got out we got a letter in the mail letting us know that Sunshine was being given the chance to do Summer school in order to complete one of her online courses. She started both her online courses when she got here and had only six weeks to do an entire year worth of assignments. She completed her math course quickly, but got hung up on the science course and we thought the credit was lost. How wonderful that she gets to keep going and complete it! Being able to focus exclusively on the one course had allowed her to zoom through the assignments and she is almost done!

 

The other kids got up and got started on their chores right away. "Why?" you ask, are they so eager to do chores? Well, before vacation we instituted a new policy. We change the wi-fi password every night, and we don't give it out until they have finished their chores the next day. Bee found the idea on facebook and suggested we try it (She was our only non complainer about chores previously). It works amazingly well, especially since this applies to the TVs as well.

I started to unpack (still some stuff waiting for today), start laundry (piles remain), and make order out of the chaos that always comes from the packing and unpacking of a vacation. We still have a ways to go.

Our vacation was a success though. We had a lot of fun together. We played lots of games, explored the area around the cabin, rode four-wheelers, went on an excursion to Mesa Verde national park to see the Indian ruins there, roasted marshmallows and had smores, put together a few puzzles, watched a few movies, and generally enjoyed each others' company. It was great. We tried to go swimming too, but of the three swimming holes on the property; one was mostly dried up, and the other two were brown and full of algae and weeds, and we couldn't get the kids to do more than wade along the edges. We did see lots of animal prints around the water which was cool. The kids were in love with the racoon tracks.

The older girls had a lot of new experiences while we were there, but their favorite was definitely the four-wheelers. After getting the go-ahead from their caseworker we taught them how to drive them safely, although Bella had one minor mishap that scared everyone a bit but taught the girls respect for the machines. She got banged up a bit, but fortunately nothing more serious than a few bruises. Afterward they were all three more cautious and concientious.

We all got worn out in a good way.

Now we just have to take a few days to recover, although the busy has already grabbed us again.

Yesterday was the Report and Review hearing for the girls' case. We listened in by phone so we didn't have to leave the house, but it was a draining experience. Sunshines bio dad has officially asked for TPR (termination of parental rights). This is a process that will leave her as a legal orphan.  She still has her sisters and their dad is her "dad", as he is the one who raised her. The legal problem is that there is very little chance that CPS will be able to place her with him because he is not a legal relative, which means he would have to be licensed to foster/adopt her. There is very little chance he will be eligible for that. If he were in AZ they might be able to fudge it a bit and allow it, but he is in Nevada and that requires interstate paperwork. Nevada is very unlikely to allow it to happen. So, now we are preparing her for what comes next. Most likely that will be either aging out of the system in just over a year, or emancipation so she can go to Nevada when/if her sisters do. Heavy stuff for a 16 year old to deal with. The other two had to deal with the reality that they will be here at LEAST another three months, possibly longer if their dad does not work his butt off to complete the list of requirements he has been given to show he is capable of caring for the girls. This will not be easy. He is almost 60 years old and has just had multiple back surgeries. We are praying for him, but it is not going to be an easy road.

Today we have a CFT. Another phone conference. We will discuss what happened at court yesterday as well as the usual stuff. It should be interesting. Then, later this afternoon Sunshine has another dental appointment. They are finishing up the work she needed done, so hopefully this will be her last one for awhile.

The kids and I get the weekend to ourselves (Hubby left for work for a few days), then Monday we have a home visit from the girls' caseworker, and then they have a visit with their dad immediately afterward. This visit will be here in town, at the library and/or park, by the girls' request. (Next visit will likely be in another town half way between here and dad's home, which means the girls will have to travel a few hours). Hubby will also be home Monday, so we have a few errands that will need taken care of then. Tuesday and Wednesday Bella will be attending soccer camp (got to get her registered today!).

We continue to speed through our Summer break. September will be here before we know it!

CFT

So, the CFT was actually last week, but I am finally getting around to posting about it here. For those not in the foster care world: CFT stands for Child Family Team meeting. The meeting takes place either in person or, as in our case, over the phone. All the adults involved in the case (bio parents, foster parents, caseworker, mental health people, etc) get together and talk about the case and the needs of the children. I have not participated in very many of these meetings (our county is not very good about involving foster parents in ANYTHING), so I wasn't quite sure what to expect. The phone conference was a little awkward, but Ms. CW did a good job of mediating and making sure everyone got a chance to be heard and everyone was polite and calm. The first big surprise of the meeting was that Sunshine's bio dad was present, along with a lawyer to represent him. He has not EVER been involved in her life. She has only met him twice in her life. We did not expect him to involve himself with her CPS case at all, so it was a bit of a shocker to us and to Bella and Bee's bio dad, who raised Sunshine from the time she was about 3mos old. It could have gotten a bit ugly, but everything stayed civil.

I was given the chance to report on the girls and how they are doing (all positive), and pass along a few requests from the bio family that they asked about at the memorial. One of those was for possible placement (not likely to happen due to past history, but they want to try). Bio dad for Bella and Bee weighed in and expressed his desire that the girls stay with us until he can take them. I was a bit surprised. He feels his girls are "happy and thriving" with us and he would rather they stay here then go to family. I think there is a lot going on in the family relationships we don't know about. We were ready to support the goal of kinship care, but with both BD and the girls preferring they stay with us we are likely to have them for at least the next six months. That is how long it will be before he can be considered for placement.

Another surprise; Sunshine's BD (let's call him BD#2) wanted to know why his home hadn't had a home study done. The implication was that he wants to be considered for placement. I assume he means for Sunshine only, but that is not totally clear as he wasn't able to say much more before Ms. CW cut him off and said they would speak about it in a private call after the CFT. I assume she wanted to get details before this was brought into open discussion with BD#1 involved. It could have gotten heated, and for little reason. If Sunshine doesn't want to live with BD#2 there is little chance of a placement. So far she has refused his requests for phone visitation, although she did accept his facebook friend request. The mental health staff member and I both encouraged BD#2 to work on his relationship with Sunshine via facebook, but to not pressure her. Sunshine seemed confused, but pleased when she told us about the friend request, so there may be hope for developing some kind of relationship. It may never be a traditional father/daughter relationship, but a healthy grown up relationship with her bio roots would be good for Sunshine.

A few other details were discussed, then the call ended.

Relatively painless. Much more surprising than expected.