I got a call this morning from the school asking me to come in for a conference. Bee had a run in with one of her teachers in which lots of attitude was exchanged.
(Of course I only got one side of the story over the phone.)
We were dealing with a male teacher, and one that I knew would respond better to another male, so I took hubby along. I also wanted him to speak to Bee first before we came into the conference. They have bonded lately and she really responds well to him. I was also used to threaten her ("if you don't change your attitude...I'll have to call your foster mom to come pick you up"), so I figured she might shut down when she saw me. It ended up being a good call both ways.
I hate teachers with control issues and condescending attitudes. Just saying.
We talked, he lectured, she scowled, he left. Then we had a good conversation with her about dealing civilly with people in authority who aren't very nice and you don't like. Like teachers, and later, bosses. She didn't like it, but she is smart and saw the truth of it. I think it helped her to know that we agreed with her opinion of the teacher. After he left we asked the vice principal (who happens to be a personal friend) to sit down with us and we spoke to her about some specific issues Bee has with this teacher. She was able to offer some ways that Bee could deal with the issues in a direct but respectful manner. She is also going to work on getting Bee a plan in place to help with her learning challenges.
Then, we talked about another issue Bee has been dealing with. Bullies. She has been dealing with a couple girls who have been harassing her in the halls and in the two classes they have together. She has handled it very well so far. Honestly she is totally capable of knocking both of them on their hind ends and getting them off her back that way. She really wanted to do so. But she has chosen not to. Instead she brought her problem to the attention of the school counselor, myself, and the VP. We all agree she is showing great self restraint, especially considering all the other emotional weight she is currently dealing with. The problem has continued though, despite efforts by the VP to put an end to it. So today we discussed it more and in the process found the possible root of the problem; a conversation and a tactless (but well intentioned) comment. Bee was clueless about what caused the hostility at first, but once we got her talking and heard about the exchange and pointed out how it might have embarrassed the other girl and made her angry she was quick to put the pieces together. When I picked her up from school she told me she had taken the VP's advice and went to the other girl and apologized. They made up and "are friends again" and later the girl's BFF (the meaner of the two) ceased hostilities and even went so far as to apologize herself! Bully problem solved! I was so so proud of Bee. She really showed her character through the whole thing. It was a tough situation, and she really handled it well.
In all we spent over two hours at the school sorting things out. I had forgotten how rough junior high can be, but today was a huge reminder. It shows just how great these girls of mine are.
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